Monday, April 28, 2014

The underwear rule , talk PANTS and you've got it covered.

Whilst sitting in the doctors last week I picked up a leaflet on the NSPCC's underwear rule .
The Underwear Rule is a simple way that parents can help keep children safe from abuse - without using scary words or mentioning sex.

There is a simple guide for parents on the website here and you can download a childfriendly one too  to help explain to children.
I had heard adverts for the campaign on the radio and kept thinking I must talk to my youngest about it but never got round to it . As parents we always try to do our best to keep our children safe but sadly  we can't always do this when they are out of our sight. It would be every parents worst nightmare if they found out there child was touched inappropriately, So the best way is to teach our children to be aware of what's not right and to talk and tell you if they feel uncomfortable. 
It's a brilliant idea and could help save lots of children from potentially dangerous or abusive situations. 

It could be an awkward conversation to tell your child about but PANTS rule has been divised for younger children and aimed at 5 to 11 year olds.

Here are the main rules.

Privates are private

Picture of pants with letter PBe clear with your child that the parts of their body covered by underwear are private.
Explain to your child that no one should ask to see or touch their private parts or ask them to look at or touch anyone else's.
Sometimes doctors, nurses or family members might have to. Explain that this is OK, but that those people should always explain why, and ask your child if it's OK first.

Always remember your body belongs to you

Picture of pants with letter ALet your child know their body belongs to them, and no one else.
No one has the right to make them do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries, tell your child they have the right to say no.
Remind your child that they can always talk to you about anything which worries or upsets them.

No means no

Picture of pants with letter NMake sure your child understands that they have the right to say "no" to unwanted touch - even to a family member or someone they know or love.
This shows that they're in control of their body and their feelings should be respected.
If a child feels confident to say no to their own family, they are more likely to say no to others.

Talk about secrets that upset you

Picture of pants with letter TExplain the differences between 'good' and 'bad' secrets.
Phrases like "it's our little secret" are an abuser's way of making a child feel worried, or scared to tell someone what is happening to them.
  • Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people.
  • Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened.
Your child needs to feel able to speak up about secrets that worry them and confident that saying something won't get them into trouble.
Telling a secret will never hurt or worry anybody in your family or someone you know and love.

Speak up, someone can help

Picture of pants with letter STell your child that if they ever feel sad, anxious or frightened they should talk to an adult they trust.
This doesn't have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend's parent - or even ChildLine.
Remind them that whatever the problem, it's not their fault and they will never get into trouble for speaking up.

For more information and how to approach your child, visit the NSPCC's website .
So talk to your child and let's hope they never have to use it .

Thanks for reading xx.

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